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“It says in the Bible that marriage is a sacred bond between one man and one woman! As a Christian, what other parts of the Bible would you like me to just ignore?”

Let’s say that I don’t want you to ignore any, and that we’ll take a strict interpretation of the Bible as the basis for laws concerning marriage in the United States. I’m happy to report that your amendment now reads like this:

Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5) Marriage shall not impede a man’s right to take concubines, in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21) A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21) Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30) A contract of marriage is for life. Neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

I feel more marriage-inclined, how ‘bout you?

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